Relocating a Senior Parent: Five Reflections on Maintaining Resilience
Updated: Aug 30
It was 2021, eighteen months since the coronavirus had redefined normal. My then 73 year-old mother was visiting from Ohio. I invited her to Georgia as a break from the isolation caused by shut-downs, masks, and social distancing. A couple of days into her visit, we were enjoying casual conversation while running errands near my home. That's when I popped the question, "Would you ever consider relocating to Atlanta?" She paused briefly before answering, "I've never thought of it before, but yeah, I could see doing that."
A Vision for Connection
It wasn't a coincidence that we were driving by a 55+ community when I posed the question. It was by design, to help my mother cast a new vision for what was possible.
My family and I had lived in the area for almost 25 years and driven past the ten-story condominium community countless times. I never paid it much attention as it blended into the streetscape of a bustling mixed-use district. Several weeks prior, I had searched Zillow for retirement communities, and there it was, just 3 miles from my home.
Once I heard, "...yeah, I could see doing that", the real planning began. We scheduled time to view a unit for sale, toured the property, and learned about the amenities and activities. There is also a shuttle service for social outings, grocery shopping and doctor's appointments. Mom quipped, "If and when I do move, I'm also going to sell my car." No argument from me. A few days later she returned to her Cincinnati home. Despite having questions (and a few concerns) about making the transition, she was sold on the idea of moving to Atlanta after living in Cincinnati for nearly 70 years.
Manna from Heaven
She wanted a one bedroom unit, on the second or third floor, with a view of the courtyard. For the next five years, I checked new listings on a daily basis. Meanwhile, my mother was gradually purging her current home in preparation for a move "one day." I also made several trips to Cincinnati to ready her home for the market -- kitchen and flooring updates, painting and a few repairs.
Finally, this past February, what felt like manna from heaven, a new listing appeared in my daily alerts -- one bedroom, second floor, a view of the courtyard, and move-in ready, to boot. All boxes checked!
We negotiated a strong offer with few stipulations, then prioritized her physical move. With the help of my sister and brother-in-law, and nearby cousins, she had done an excellent job of deciding what to purge, keep, and buy-new in Atlanta. Lots of coordination and some hard decisions enabled us to handle the move with a single U-Haul trailer. We sold her car, packed the trailer with the help of my cousin A.J., and headed South.
The trip went as planned, and she moved her into her new place. It was her first time seeing it in-person, and she loved it. On to Phase II... she had a home to sell. Atlanta real estate expert, Lisa Anthony referred us to an equally talented Cincinnati broker, Michelle Billings. Her home sold in 8 days and closed two weeks later.
The Power of Supportive Environment
The move to the new community has exceeded both of our expectations. The environment and daily social interactions with her peers has been uplifting in ways we could have never imagined. Beautiful grounds to encourage time outdoors; dining service with a variety of healthy meal options; walkability to grocery stores and restaurants; natural daily movement, exercise classes and strength & aerobic equipment; planned social, cultural and enrichment activities...and I could go on. Perhaps most inspiring are the centenarians (or soon-to-be) she's met who go about life like recent retirees. Feels a lot like the Blue Zones.
The environment and daily social interactions with her peers has been uplifting in ways we could have never imagined.
Unfortunately, in the midst of this new chapter unfolding, Mom's younger brother, my uncle Larry, suddenly passed away in June. In addition to the love and support of family and long-time friends, I'm glad my mother is also living amongst peers who can empathize with her grief as many of them have laid to rest their spouses, siblings and children.
5 Reflections on Relocation Resilience
Looking back on the past 5 years and the past 5 months in particular, I have 5 reflections on what worked well and enabled resilience during such an undertaking:
Budget more time and money than you think you'll need -- this allows for thoughtful, proactive planning versus rushed, costly decisions.
Plan for 2-3 things that could likely go wrong, and contingencies for those mishaps. That way, you're not surprised when they go wrong.
Use the DICE framework to clarify the roles various stakeholders play, and never confuse the roles. D shouldn't be concerned with how E plans to execute, unless D is really a DE.
Decide - the individual or group with ultimate authority to make the final choice.
Inform - stakeholders who must be informed after a decision is made or task completed.
Consult - experts or stakeholders whose input is gathered before final decisions are made.
Execute - the people responsible for doing the actual work and implementing decisions.
Divide the project into subtasks. For each subtask, use a master task list and add the next most important 1-3 items to your daily task list, not 4 or 5. Checking off items everyday provides momentum and a healthy boost of dopamine. I use Microsoft To Do, Mom used a notepad.
Decide what you're NOT going to do for the time being. When time gets tight and you're feeling overwhelmed, you might be surprised at how much can be delegated or paused without any repercussions.
Navigating major life transitions, whether relocating a senior parent or restructuring your environment, requires both operational strategy and emotional space. Tactical planning around resources, contingencies, role clarity, and decluttering the task list create structure needed to protect your health and peace throughout the process.
What changes can you make in your current environment to better support your health and long-term well-being? What lessons have you learned from relocating a senior parent? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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